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Rants, ramblings about my life, work, politics, current events and my obsessions with yarn, knitting, and good music...

Monday, August 30, 2004

Hey Now My Boyfriend's Back

Weekend turned out to be nice.

Did some cleaning on saturday; school starts wednesday and it was the last time in a while that I'd be able to do a really good cleaning. I really wish I had hardwood floors, because when carpeting gets to be a certain age, no matter how well it's been cleaned, it still looks dirty.

Had dinner with Mike & Craig saturday evening. They are off to Italy in less than two weeks, and it was very cool to hear them discuss tentative plans and see how excited they were for the trip.

Received an impromptu call from my friend Lee sunday morning, and she & I wound up going to the Pancake House for a very yummy, but not so healthy breakfast.

And! The news that I know you've all been waiting for! Niels is back in town. I'm so farking excited!! The summer apart was sucky because we didn't get to see much of eachother; but good in that it helped us maintain our independence. I had dinner with him & his parents at my most favorite restaurant in the D.C. area. Went home content and full yet so excited that he's back that I couldn't sleep.

Have been listening to CDs that I haven't listened to in a bit. One of them is Everything's Wonderful and Nothing Hurts, by the Kelley Girls. Unfortunately they are no more and according to don't exist. I used to work with Tim Kelley and his brother Michael used to be my massage therapist. I fell out of touch with both of them, when Tim & I both quit Borders and when Michael took a leave of absence from his practice. They are both amazingly wonderfuly guys and I've put it out there that I'd like to see them again, so Creation willing, I'll see them someday. Hopefully sooner than later.

Even though it was an all around good weekend, a part of me wishes I could have been here yesterday afternoon.

Friday, August 27, 2004


My cats, Winnie & Maya, are on my bed snoring.

Oh god, I'm posting about my cats.

I need a life.

Actually, I'd like to go out & be social but it's late, and all my friends are out of town. And Niels has been visited by Mr. Grumpypants so I can't even call him to chat.


What a way to spend a friday. I am such a loser (said in my best Vinnie Barbarino voice).

What the...???

I have no idea why my Aunt sent me this link with a note saying that she hopes I find it useful. The only thing I'd find it useful is so I could contact them and tell them how I really feel about them.

Am I missing something? I thought it was pretty obvious that I was a left wing, pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, gal??

I think I'm going to have to write her this weekend....


Leonard or Jeff???

Am sitting home alone this evening. When I first got home I was excited about spending the evening alone, but now I'm bored and lonely.

So, as I have done in the past I turn to the boys that have always been there for me on many a lonely night.

Leonard Cohen & Jeff Buckley.

And tonight I decided that I needed to listen to "Hallelujah" and figure out which one is better, Leonard's original or Jeff's remake (Rufus Wainwright does a cover too that's purdy decent).

And I have come to the decision that Leonard's version is far superior. Jeff's version doesn't have the longing or the sorrowfulness of a relationship that has gone sour that Leonard's has. (I still can't believe that they used the chorus to the song for a post-9/11 video. DID THEY NOT LISTEN TO THE WORDS OF THE SONG???????)

If you have not heard the song or don't remember the lyrics I present them for you now.

Hallelujah - Words & Music by Leonard Cohen

Baby, I've been here before.
I know this room, I've walked this floor.
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
but love is not a victory march
it's cold and it's a broken Hallelujah!

There was a time you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show it to me,
do you?
I remember when I moved in you,
and the holy dove was moving too,
and every breath we drew was

Now maybe there's a God above,
but I ever learned from love
is how to shoot at someone who
outdrew you.
And it's no complaint you hear tonight,
and it's not some pilgrim you's seen the
it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah!

I did my best; it wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I learned to touch.
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool
And even though it all went wrong,
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
with nothing on my lips but Hallelujah!

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

100% Fun

As many of you know my hard drive at work went to computer heaven & I lost a lot of things which I'm not very happy about.

One of the things I lost was my playlist on iTunes. Well the people at Apple were kind enough to let me get the songs I paid for back without having to pay for them again. Of course I got scolded for not backing up my stuff as well. But thanks iTunes support!! You made my day.

So, I've been spending the past two days at work downloading some of my CD collection back on iTunes, I'm productive I know. A bunch of us at the office share our iTunes, and my coworker Karen was very excited to find out that I put Matthew Sweet's Girlfriend album on it. Karen IM'ed me to express her thanks and it reminded me of when I was at St Bonaventure Univ and Matthew Sweet played there. (I think it was fall fest, it could have been spring weekend, but my old fart brain doesn't remember).

Anyways, (Kim you'll have a flash from the past) after the concert, my friend Kim & I hung out by Matthew Sweet's tour bus like good the groupies we were waiting to meet him & get his autograph (I'm now kicking myself for not bringing my camera).

So, it's finally my turn to talk to him, he was sitting on the steps of the bus, and I told him how cool I thought his sneakers were. They were a really cool pair of shiny black converse sneakers that I'd been wanting foreva! I think I was tipsy, I must have been, because I asked him if I could have his sneakers and he gave me this look like I was smoking crack & politely told me "No." Kim gave me shit all the way back to the dorm for that one.

Finally, I'm listening to his 1995 album as I write this and 1) can't believe it's been almost 10 years since this album came out, and 2) I forgot how farking amazing it is.

But! I can say I have a Matthew Sweet story!!!
The Christians & The Pagans

I have an aunt who used to be a nun. She’s a lovely lady, but feels it’s her calling to convert everyone to Catholicism. And after a long hiatus of not receiving emails from her regarding Catholic Christianity I came to work and had five (FIVE) emails from her regarding the evils of being pro-choice and the Vatican’s view of women’s role in the Church & society.

Now, I really try to be open minded.

I do.


I know I can, and always will, be stubborn in my views. But if you’re going to try to get me to see your point of view is it too much to ask that the articles you send me be well written??

My aunt sent me an article from a Catholic lisserv pretty much stating that it is in a woman’s genes to want to be a mother and a homemaker. And when women go out into the workforce they are going against nature and God’s will. Socialization, economics, and the other factors on why women work were completely ignored. At first I was appalled but then started laughing, but once I realized that people, lots of people, educated people believe this, I was appalled again. It scares me how many people are scared of independent women.

What was even more appalling was that the Vatican’s stance on women is a slap in the face to all the women religious, some of whom are doing a better job than priests, working their butts off to make the world better.

And my Mom wonders why I left Catholicism & Christianity.

I talked about the articles with my Mom and, being a progressive Catholic, came up with somethings I didn’t even think about.

But then we got on the fact that I’m pro-choice…

She’s known it for a long time, but it’s often a topic we avoid. She had the impression that being pro-choice means being pro-abortion. I had to clear that one up fast. It does not mean that one bit. No one, I repeat, no one is pro-abortion. It’s something that I don’t think any woman hopes to have to have in her lifetime. Being pro-choice means that I believe in access to all forms of reproductive health, from age appropriate sex education to access to contraception to access to OB/GYN visits and if need be, yes, abortion. Being pro-choice means that hopefully if I, as a woman, have access to proper reproductive health care, hopefully I will never have to have abortion. But it also means if these things fail, I have the option of terminating a pregnancy.

My Mom is the minority in the pro-life/anti-abortion movement. She believes in all the same things I do, but not abortion. I had to inform her that if the pro-life movement does not want women to have abortions then they have to do the things necessary to prevent an unwanted pregnancy.

The amazing thing about this conversation was just that, it was a conversation, not a voice raising debate. When it was all done, we both understood each other’s view a bit better.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004


Sorry I haven't posted in a bit and had you worried (although it's nice to know that people read it & that I'm missed). I was in Minneapolis, MN from thursday until late yesterday afternoon, and was without internet access. Can I tell you how painful it was for the first couple days?? I felt like I lost my connection with the outside world. Granted I watched CNN & some of the Olympics but I missed all the blogs I read & all my other news sources.

The weekend was really nice and the wedding was absolutely beautiful, but bittersweet.

I flew in to Minneapolis on thursday afternoon, met up with Mom, Dad & my sister Beth at the gate. Now, their flight came in a few hours before mine so they just hung out & waited for me. Because of this my Dad asked someone at NWA's info desk what would happen to his luggage & he was told not to worry & that the luggage tag would get scanned & go to the luggage pickup area & he could go pick it up once they met up with me.

So, we meet up, have lunch & go to get Dad's luggage. The customer service woman couldn't find my Dad's suitcase in the system. My Dad explained the situation & the woman had the balls to tell my father that what he did was stupid and he was stupid for doing so. Ooooo was my Dad PISSED, as he should have been because this woman was a total moron & beyotch.

Meanwhile, my Mom & I are standing to the side & she sees my Dad's suitcase going 'round and 'round on the luggage carousel. So she grabs the suitcase and shouts to my Dad that she has it. Which was perfect timing, because I think my Dad was about to loose it on the customer service lady.

As we're leaving Beth goes up to the woman & reads her the riot act. Telling her that it's not her job to tell people that they're stupid when they're already having a bad day. The woman did not like this one bit, especially since she was being called out on not doing her job (Dad's suitcase was sitting out for the whole three hours).

Chris & Heather flew in on friday as did my Uncle Mike & Aunt Palma & they got to the hotel around dinner time so Beth & I went to dinner with them. We forwarned our waitress that we're a loud bunch and she put up with us quite well. (Mom, Dad, (my brother) Jim, Fran & their kids had to go to the rehersal, so they didn't join).

The wedding on saturday was so much fun. But it was sad in a way because Aunt Fran's was really missed (for my newer readers, she died last November of pancreatic cancer). Kevin & Dana did a photo video montage of pictures of them & how they met & how Kevin proposed which was really sweet. But at the end they did a detication to Aunt Fran & we all LOST it. There was not a dry eye in the reception hall. I was a bit melancoly for a bit, but it went away once the dancing started. Although it was a wonderful day it was really bittersweet for those of us who were close with Aunt Fran, and especially for Uncle Larry. You could tell that he was enjoying himself, but was sad at the sametime.

My niece & nephews danced up a storm, by the end of the night my brother Jim & my Dad had to carry the kids to the car because they had fallen asleep.

Saturday morning, my Dad, my nephews James & Anthony & I were hanging out in my Dad's hotel room, watching CNN and a clip came on about the protesters for the RNC. And James asked why someone would protest the president. (He's 9 and has such an idealized view of government like we all did at that age) I had to explain that some people disagree with his policies and it was such a shock to him that people would be against the president. I didn't explain it any further than that because I didn't want to scare the crap out of him on the realities of life.

A few minutes later, as I was playing with Anthony (he's 3), CNN showed a clip on something that John Ashcroft said & I said "oh come on!" without realizing it. And Anthony asked me "Why did you say that?" So I had to just say that he said something that I disagreed with since there's no way he would understand it any further than that.

My brother, their Dad, is wicked conservative, so until they're a bit older I have to tread lightly when it comes to politics. Plus, they have such an idealized view of the world, I want to keep it that way for as long as possible.

It was hard to come back yesterday, but once I got home it was good to be back in my own space.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Already Hitting the Fan

Today's turning out to be a shitty ass day. I got to work and turned my computer on... it worked for about five minutes & then froze. I went to reboot & it wouldn't let me. The computer tech has no clue what happened, or what's wrong. All he knows is that it's bad. Really really bad.

So, he set me up on a laptop that doesn't have any of my favorite things (IM, iTunes, work related websites) and I feel lost. I have a bunch of stuff saved on my C drive and if I lose them I'm going to be really really upset.


Happy f*ing monday.

Thursday, August 12, 2004


Have been in a relative state of melancholy the past few days. I know it's all related to my crappy ass finances and that I have three VERY large expenses coming up the next two months.

1. School - my bill came in and granted it's a very tiny fraction of what the rest of my classmates have to pay, I don't have $237.00 lying around which will allow me to pay it one chunk.

1A. The thought of buying books makes my heart race. I'm only taking two classes, but they're classes where books are going to be expensive no matter how you look at it. I am hoping that I won't have to by many books for my Post-Colonial Lit class and that the whole syllabus will consist of books I already own. *sigh* I doubt it, but a girl can dream can't she?

2. Wedding - Not mine, sillies! My cousin Kevin is getting married in Minneapolis next weekend and the cost is pretty much eating all of my left over monies (read:after bills have been paid) from this week's (I get paid tomorrow) check. Can I not go? No. Not going is not even an option. Kevin is the middle child of my most favourite aunt who passed away last November. His family & my family are really really close. Plus, I want to go. I love my Mom's side of the family (I love my Dad's side too, but I know my Mom's side better) and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone.

3. Moving - I'm moving at the end of September and I'm freaking out. I've calmed down about finding a place to live, but am freaking at the cost. If Soraia & I get the place we're looking at on saturday, and as the magic 8 ball said, there's a good chance I'll get it, My share of the security deposit will be from $900.00-$1000.00. And like I said earlier, I don't have that kind of money just lying around.

So, I swallowed some pride, and asked one of my brothers if they could loan me some money for the security deposit. I cannot express how much I hate asking family members for money. I would rather ask my gay husband Mike, for the loan over my family members. I don't know why it is. Perhaps it comes back to the whole idea that I need to prove to my family that I can make it on my own. I totally know it's a self-imposed idea because my family is extremely supportive (although my brothers give me shit about school and that's a different topic for a different day). I also don't want them to think I'm taking advantage of their generosity (I've never asked siblings for money even though my one brother offered to pay Winnie's surgery bill & I'd pay them back & I turned it down) even though I've never asked for money from them, ever. Every now and then my parents will send me money & I will call them up and the conversation usually goes something like this:

Me: You know you didn't have to do this.
M/D: We know. We wanted to.
Me: I don't want you thinking I can't manage on my own.
M/D: We know you can, but we had some extra money.
Me: Are you sure????
M/D: Positive.
Me: Positive? I don't want to take advantage of your generosity.
M/D: Positive. We'd be the first to tell you if you were.
Me: Thanks.

Dear reader, you're probably wondering how I cannot have a savings account of some sort. Well, in my early twenties I racked up big big credit card debt and am now spending a good portion of a pay check every month to pay it off though my credit card counseling company. I have enough money to pay rent & bills & buy food and be social, but unfortunately it doesn't really allow for me to set money aside.

That's my *harumpf* for the day. Thanks for listening

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Making the Rounds

A quick post during my late lunch.

Snagged this from Jennifer's blog:

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

You are an Intrapersonal thinker
Intrapersonal thinkers:
Spend a lot of time thinking about and trying to understand themselves
Reflect on their thoughts and moods, and work to improve them
You understand how your behaviour affects your relationships with others

Other Intrapersonal thinkers include:
Sigmund Freud, Gandhi, Grahame Greene

Careers which suit Intrapersonal Thinkers include:
Psychologist, Teacher, Pilot, Child care worker, Explorer, Drama therapist

I'm also:

You are a Naturalist Thinker
Naturalist Thinkers:
Like to understand the natural world, and the living beings that inhabit it
have an aptitude for communicating with animals
You try to understand patterns of life and natural forces

Other Naturalist thinkers include:
Charles Darwin, Jane Goodall, Johnny Morris, David Attenborough

Careers which suit Naturalist thinkers includeBiologist, Meteorologist, Forester, Farmer, Astronomer, Alternative therapist


Am hating my computer today. It keeps freezing up and doing other wacky shit. I just want to throw it out the window... that's if I had a window...

Tuesday, August 10, 2004


Talked with Jude last night. She was unable to get the pre-sale tickets for the REM show. She logged on at 1:07pm, 7 minutes after the internet sale started for fanclub members. The DC tickets all sold in that short time frame. She & I are both really really annoyed. There was a 2 ticket limit for the show, so we're guessing that they only released a hundred or so tickets for pre-sale. We are not amused, since tickets were available at most of the other venues. Nope, not amused at all. Am tempted to write the fanclub a letter expressing my annoyance, but I doubt that will help.

Went and looked at a house last night, it's beautiful & in a great neighborhood, but I passed on it because the bathroom with the shower was in one of the bedrooms. It's fine for people who are a couple, but I'd feel weird going into Soraia's room or vice versa to go shower. But I have a lead on another place, I have to call the owner on thursday.

I don't like house hunting, nope not one bit. It's very time consuming and nerve wracking, but there is one upside, I'm getting to see some really nice places that i wouldn't have seen otherwise.

So please say a little prayer to the housing gods that I find a nice, relatively inexpensive place to live.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

All The Right Friends

Got the email from REM announcing the dates for their 2004 North American tour. Needless to say I'm very excited!!! I immediately forwarded it to Jude. I'm sure she's going to come down & go to the show with me.

I don't know how I'm going to afford it, with saving for my move & having to pay my tution bill & buying books for school money is kind of tight. Another bad thing is that it falls on a Monday night & I have Stats from 6pm-8pm on Mondays. But come hell or high water I'm going to the show. Yes, even if it means skipping out of Statistics an hour early to go to the show.

I need a Mike Mills fix, perhaps he'll even sing lead vocals on "Rockville" again. That would make me very happy.
Change is a good thing...

One of the few times I wished I lived in one of the swing states. Check out Vote for Change Tour. I admit Move On has been grating on my nerves lately, but this is a really really great idea. Big kudos to the bands involved!!

My friend Kim sent me this . Very very funny.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Settling back into things...

Back from SSXI and vacation.

SSXI was fabulous! So very relaxing and fun. My back is still recovering (memo for next year: air mattress) from sleeping on the ground (memo for next year: pick a less sloped camping spot).

Vacation in Wheeling was fun. Very chill, did geeky things like play RISK 2210 & RISK Godstorm. Both very fun, lost at RISK 2210 to Niels' friend Jon who totally kicked all of our asses. But, I won RISK Godstorm, by sheer luck. I also worked on *the* sweater a bit. I'm hoping to have it done in the next month and a half, but with looking for a new place to live & going to Minneapolis for a wedding I don't know how much time I'll have.

Yup, you read that right. I'm looking for a new place to live. I love my apartment, but the building and the some of the tenants are becoming very questionable, so I decided to move into D.C. I know I know, I've been fighting moving into the District, but I think it's time. Plus if I can cut my commuting cost by 75% that would make me very happy. I'm looking for a two bedroom that has AC, onsite laundry and is cat friendly. I'd like to move the The Hill, amazingly enough it's not so expensive, but I have to convince my future roomate that it's better than Adams Morgan. I LIKE Adams Morgan, but all the places I've looked at are $700-$1000 more than places on The Hill. Also, if I lived on The Hill I'd be closer to my brother & it'd be easier for him to drive me places... >:)

I was in the women's restroom today & I overheard the Chair of the department & a fellow coworker talking about grad school. This coworker is going to be going to Columbia & her parents are GIVING her an apartment so she can save money. The Chair of the department's daughter is at NYU for grad school & she's thinking of buying her daughter an apartment. Oh, I wish I had things given to me on a silver platter like that. I wonder what they'd do if they actually had to work for things like housing & pay their own rent.


Ok, off to the Washington City Paper's website to get the housing classifieds!!