Fig Cookies

Rants, ramblings about my life, work, politics, current events and my obsessions with yarn, knitting, and good music...

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Waltzing Along

The insanity that was this week is almost over. Monday and Tuesday were the busiest schoolwork wise.

I've been really really tired all week because I haven't been going to bed at a reasonable hour, for me. I'm not one who functions well on less than 8 hours of sleep a night and I've been getting about 6 hours this week.

I would like to go to bed early, but I get home & get a second wind & can't fall asleep so I'm up. Knitting.

Speaking of knitting. I finished my Very Harlot Poncho. It's nice and cozy and warm. You can find the patten at the Yarn Harlot's. The Yarn Harlot is amazing. I love her and hate her at the sametime. She knits so damn FAST and everything she touches turns to gold. I wish I had 1/2 her talent.

I started my nephew's birthday present. I'm making him a hat for his birthday (which was yesterday, I'm a bad aunt) out of this beautiful yarn called Cascade 220. It's like butter. So lovely and wonderful to work with.

Once I have access to a digital camera I will post photos of the poncho & the hat when it's done.

Will post more when I wake up more.

Monday, October 25, 2004

The Countdown Begins

Yes I know I should be writing my paper... But how does one regurtiate a 350 page book into four pages without totally plagiarizing? Plus, it's Edward Said, only the best critic of Colonialism and Orientalism, may he rest in piece. No matter what I write will be shit.

Ok... the countdown

One week from today I will be in fits because I'll be seeing R.E.M.

Eight days to John Kerry's election as the next president.

One month and 28 days until I graduate.

Have you ever written a word that you've written a zillion times over your life and all of the sudden it looks like you spelled it wrong? That just happened to me when I spelled 'busy'.

This week is going to be insane so there will be little to no posting. To all of my five readers... I know you will be sad, but it's only temporary.

Here's the reasons why no postings from me...

Today: Stats midterm at 2pm
Tuesday: Paper & Presentation - must turn my detailed outline into a paper this evening
Thursday: Paper - must read book to write paper
Friday: Stoopid waiver exam so I can test out of FRESHMAN English so I can graduate in December

Have a great day!!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

St Louis & R.E.M

Can't post much today, I've barely done any work & really want to go home & crawl under the covers, I'm so tired.

St Louis & R.E.M were absolutely fucking amazing! I liked St Louis a lot more than I thought I would, even though I didn't do any sightseeing (getting a ride to & from the airport and to & from the concert don't really count as 'sightseeing').

The concert was great. The only downside was that boys looked a little tired at the beginning of the show. And Michael sounded like he was on the verge of coming down with a cold at a couple points. But with that said they pepped up as the show went on feeding off the energy of the crowd. We had really great seats and I had a perfect view of Mike Mills which made me very happy. Before they started their encore, Michael made this really impressive speech about the importance of voting this year "no matter who you're voting for". Of course he was wearing his Kerry tshirt when he said this.

Here's the setlist courtesy of the Murmurs website:

Begin The Begin
So Fast, So Numb
Boy In The Well
Exhuming McCarthy
The Outsiders
High Speed Train
Bad Day
Imitation of Life
I Wanted To Be Wrong
The One I Love
Final Straw
Find The River
Losing My Religion
Walk Unafraid
Life And How To Live It
What's The Frequency, Kenneth?
Leaving New York
Permanent Vacation
I'm Gonna DJ
Man On The Moon

Nine days until the D.C. show!! Hurrah!!

Monday, October 18, 2004


As many of you knowwithin the past year I've taken up knitting (again), and now have a full blown addiction to it. Unfortunately, my job & school have been preventing me from knitting as much as I would like. The plus side is that in 2 months and 3 days I will be able to knit until my heart's content during my non-work hours.

I recently purchased this book

after drooling at it when I was at Stacy's two weekends ago. I love it, even though the author lies when she says that a project will be done in the time frames given. Go look at it even if you don't knit, the photos are really great.
Heavy Things

This past weekend was parents weekend at the University. Since I'm too old for my parents to come to it, as well as not wanting to subject them to this shithole, I didn't have them visit. Niels' Dad came in for it 'though. So I spent the weekend on campus, spent quality time with Niels and his Dad. Although we really only hung out with his Dad for meals, is it still considered quality time??

Anyways, spending almost the whole weekend on campus was fun. I'm living my college years vicariously through Niels.

Everyone and their brother's been posting about the Jon Stewart interview on Crossfire. So let me give my two cents. Jon Stewart rocks my world. And it's about time that the media's been called out on their shit ass reporting of this administration. And I can't believe that Tucker Carlson is such an idiot. I mean, for christssake, Tucker, The Daily Show's NOT REAL NEWS, so to say that Jon Stewart needs to ask the hard hitting questions is absolutely moronic. I don't know if you noticed, but that's YOUR JOB. Just because you lack the balls to ask the questions, doesn't mean you can place the blame on Jon Stewart. I think you need to go back to journalism school & retake a few of your classes because you obviously for got what the job description of your job is. You also might want to look in the dictionary and see what the word "satire" means. Because it obviously doesn't mean what you think it means.

Tomorrow I'm off to St. Louis to see my boyfriend.... I mean R.E.M. at the Fox Theatre. Allah willing Jude & I will be able to find each other in the airport. My SuperShuttle's picking me up at the ungodly hour of 3:45am. I hope my driver doesn't feel like talking so I can sleep for how ever long it takes to get to BWI. I also hope that I'll be able to get a crapload of reading done between the time I get there & the time we meet up. I've so much to do between now & next tuesday it's not funny.

DiscLive screwed up my order. So they sent me two more Lowest of the Low CDs from their Buffalo show to make up for it. I now have two extra copies of the show. (I orignally bought one for me & one for my sister). So, if you or someone you love would like to buy them off of me, email me & we'll work something out.

Happy Monday to you all!!

Thursday, October 14, 2004


Swiped this from Jennifer who swiped it from here. My apologies for not being original...

First job: Babysitting some kid down the street. I don't even remember his name. How sad is that?
First screen name: MissMita - it's always MissMita
First funeral: My Dad's aunt... I think I was 6, I remember having nightmares for weeks afterwards, I was really traumatized
First pet: A cat named Jake
First piercing: Ears when I was in 6th grade (then nose when I was 19, then tongue when I was 24)
First tattoo: Turtle on my right ankle when I was 19 (then a Celtic knot on the small of my back when I was 24, Chinese character for love on my left shoulder blade when I was 27, then the *Om* on my righ shoulder when I was 28)
First credit card: evil Key Bank freshman year in college
First kiss: Steve at the CYO (Catholic Youth Organizations) Convention when I was 15 (you would not believe how many people hooked up at those things even after we got the "don't have sex until your married" talk from Fr. Gary)

Last car ride: Monday morning - Driving into DC w/Dan & Stacy from their house at the crack of dawn
Last kiss: Tuesday - from my sweet Niels
Last movie watched: Long Kiss Goodbye (?)
Last beverage drank: Diet Pepsi
Last food consumed: Cream of Wheat w/a little butter & a little salt.
Last phone call: Imee from the Deans' Suite over at the School of Public Health
Last time showered: this morning
Last CD played: Around the Sun -R.E.M.
Last website visited: All Things Jen(nifer)

Single or taken: Taken
Gender: Female
Birthday: June 12th
Sign: Gemini
Hair color: Dark Brown
Eye color: Right Eye - Hazel, Left Eye - Brown
Shoe size: 10
Height: 5'9"
Wearing: Blue Jeans, Purple V-Neck Ribbed TShirt, Black DocMartens
Thinking about: How I'm looking forward to my 3mile walk to the Rosslyn Metro Station
Listening to: One Man Guy by Rufus Wainwright
Happiness Is...

My Denise Needles coming in.

I can now make my Very Harlot Poncho!!!

I'm still hating work.


Off to meet with a professor to discuss a paper...

Wednesday, October 13, 2004


I need a new job. A job where I'm appreciated. A job where I get credit for my work, not someone else.

Where did this all come from you ask? The following article was in today's Washington Post and it spurred a comment by the Chair of my department. She said that something like this would never happen because we have M (my boss) who's the money police and he would never let something like this happen.

Excuse me??

What am I chopped liver?

She had no idea.

I am the person M defers university policy questions when he doesn't know because I worked in Accounts Payable before coming here & I know their policies like the back of my hand. I am the person who lets him know when an expenditure is pushing the limits of what is an allowable expense.

But, for various reasons (being behind the scenes, not having my degree and being part of the administrative staff) I am not taken seriously by the majority of the people in the office and I am chopped liver compared to M. (My office is very elitist when it comes to having a degree and what your job title is.) M can also do no wrong in the eyes of the Chair (she plays favorites like no one I've seen.)

One day... soon I hope... when I'm gone, they're going to realize how important I really am.

Ex-GWU Professor Charged in $600,000 Theft
By Greg SchneiderWashington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, October 13, 2004; Page B02

A former George Washington University professor was arrested yesterday and charged with embezzling nearly $600,000 in federal money while running a national traffic safety research center affiliated with the school.

Nabih E. Bedewi, 40, of Reston appeared in U.S. District Court in Washington to face charges alleging that he took the money between December 2002 and April 1 of this year.

Bedewi was on George Washington's faculty from 1990 until he resigned in June, a university spokeswoman said. An engineering professor, he ran the National Crash Analysis Center, a cooperative venture among the university, the Federal Highway Administration and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

The center used federal money to run crash tests at a facility in Langley and at a new test center at the university's Ashburn campus. The inspector general's office at the Department of Transportation alleged that Bedewi, who was director of the crash analysis center, set up a company called International Transportation Safety Corp. and awarded it subcontracts for crash test support work.

The university began investigating Bedewi when it discovered that he had awarded contracts to his own company, according to the inspector general's criminal complaint. The university then reported the situation to federal officials.

The federal investigation showed that the company collected more than $721,000 from the university, an amount later reimbursed by the federal government. Of that total, nearly $129,000 covered actual services rendered, leaving about $595,000 that the company was "fraudulently overpaid," according to the complaint.

The complaint alleges that International Transportation Safety Corp. lent most of that money to another company affiliated with Bedewi, New Generation Motors Corp. That company, profiled earlier this year in The Washington Post Magazine, has been struggling to market a new type of electric motor for vehicles. The firm received the money as a personal loan from Bedewi, who co-founded the company along with some of his former engineering students.

Bedewi was released after his court appearance and could not be located later for comment. His lawyer did not respond to phone messages.

An official at New Generation Motors said yesterday that the company had cooperated with the university in the initial investigation and was "shocked and disappointed in those revelations."

In addition to diverting money to New Generation Motors, Bedewi allegedly used some of the funds to make payments on his home equity line of credit, buy Washington Redskins season tickets, pay annual fees for a Florida condominium, make three monthly payments on an automobile lease and pay down credit balances for family members, according to the complaint.

The document also alleges that Bedewi arranged for his brother's wife to get more than $36,000 in improper stipend payments by falsely claiming she was a graduate assistant.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004


Am tired, cranky & PMS-y, so I will not inflict myself upon you. Once I recover & get back to my normal crazy self, I will give a better update.

I will say, 'though, the computer tech put more memory on my, ancient, laptop & upgraded it to Windows 2000. He rocks!

Back to work.

Happy Tuesday!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

All Good Gifts

I'm updating my blog instead of reading Orientalism by Edward Said, for a presentation I've to give in a couple weeks... ah yes we see where my priorities are tonight.

While sitting here I'm listening to the soundtrack to Godspell , the first CD I ever owned. Everytime I listen to it many memories come flooding back. I was in my high school production of it way back in spring of 1993. It was one of my favorite memories of high school, because execpt for going to France my junior year and being active in the music department, the rest of high school sucked ass. I was also at the height of my involvement in my church. I had such an idealized view of Christianity and of being Roman Catholic. Yes, there were things that I disagreed with, but never in a million years would I have ever thought, at 18, that at 29 I would have given both of them up.

So why did I give them up? Many many reasons. I couldn't let go of my ideas of what social justice should be and the RC's vision. I couldn't stand that the gay community was being excluded from social justice (love the sinner, hate the sin). I began questioning if Jesus was really the son of God or just a disillusioned prophet. And I started to realize that I was doing it for my parents, not me. If you're a regular reader you know that my parents are pretty Catholic. Moderate & progressive Catholics but still very Catholic. I was under the impression that the rest of my siblings had left the Church (now I know it was just my sister, my brothers are still Catholic) and I could see that they, especially my Mom was really grieved by it, so I stayed. I'm not saying I wasn't active for just her, because I wasn't I did get a lot out of it. I also saw the people around me and their attitudes towards people who weren't Christian and that really started to bother me. If we, as Christians, were supposed to love everyone why didn't we? Why were some people more loved than others?

In the fall of 1993 I left to start my freshman year at St Bonaventure Univ. and it was not an easy year. (Poor Mike, after everything I put him through with me trying to figure things out regarding faith, family, sexuality, sex and life in general, I'm amazed that we're still such good friends all these years later. ) I really started to think about what my faith meant to me and my relationship and role in the Catholic Church. I also saw some of the Franciscan Friars say one thing and do another. I became disillusioned. I stopped going to Church, fought a lot with my Mom (poor her, I was rotten to her) and was pretty depressed.

After having to drop out the summer after my sophomore year (do to financial reasons) I started going to University at Buffalo's Newman Center. I loved it. The people who were there were held the same views as I did on so many things. Everything seemed to fit.

But then the doubts and questioning started to creep back in. So, I started to explore my options on the faith front. I was working at Borders at the time, so hanging out in the Religion section was not a hard thing for me to do. And I came to realize that I don't believe Jesus is the son of God. I have great profound respect for his teachings, but I think that it has been changed and bastardized over the years and has turned into something terrible. There are a few people out there who are true Christians but they are few and far between. I do not like what it has become; so I left. My parents really had a hard time dealing with it, but they have come to understand that it is not for me. I am grateful for my Christian/Catholic upbringing but I will never go back.

Wow. This post is very different from what I originally set out to write. I was going to give an update on my "crisis" of my lack of direction of my future.

I talked with both my parents yesterday and they were extremely supportive and understanding of what I'm going through. Their suggestion was that I try different things and see what happens. They also reminded me that not many people are passionate about their jobs, but love them nonetheless. And if I want to work at Starbucks for the rest of my life, then I should if that would make me happy. But first I need to take a break from things since I've been working so hard the past few years.

I think this all comes from the fact that I'm graduating in December. After 11 1/2 years (if you include the 4 years I took off) of working towards my degree in one way or another I will be done. And these past two years I've been working especially hard, taking three classes while working full time, taking summer classes, loading up, getting burnt out, so I could finish. I've had this goal in front of me for so long and now I'm finally reaching it and I now have the feeling of "Now what?"

So thank you all for your support, it really does mean a lot to me. And knowing that many of you have gone through the samething really helps to allevate the fears.

Hope you all have a wonderful evening.... I'm off to read... Love you all.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Fast Approaching a Crossroads

Graduation is going to be here before I know it. And I’m fast approaching a crossroads.

I’ve been really thinking about what I want to do with my life, on the job front, and this may sound very silly, but I really think that I would be very happy working at a coffee shop for the rest of my life. Working at Starbucks was my favorite job of my 13+ years of work experience.

I love Sociology but I’m not passionate about it. I love reading and learning the different theories; I’m interested in gender and gender identity but I’m starting to realize that I don’t feel a drive to make it my career. I also thought that I’d want to teach and try to open the minds of people who see gender in the binary. But I don’t know if it’s something I really wasn’t interested in at all, or I’ve become cynical if it’s going to be a lost cause because society has started its swing back to a conservative view of gender identity.

I’m also starting to realize that I’m not passionate about ANYTHING. There is not one thing I’m into that I can say I’m passionate about. Sure I like to knit & I like yarn, but I don’t have the drive to learn everything about it the way
Stacy does. I like gender idenity but not like Martha. I’m definitely interested in the state of the world and the political scene, but I don’t want to get involved in politics or policy making. I like to read, but I hate writing, writing is a painful experience for me. Maybe it explains why I've changed my mind about what I want to do with my life every year or so.

So what to do?

Do I stay at my university job and get a, relatively, free Master’s degree in something that I don’t know what I’d do with.

Or do I say “Fuck it” and leave the area for a place that has a lower cost of living and work at a coffee shop for the rest of my life?

I'm really identifying with this song today:

Where Do I Go? (From the soundtrack to "Hair")

Where Do I Go?; Follow the river;
Where Do I Go?; Follow the gulls

Where is the something
Where is the someone
That tells me why I live and die?

Where Do I Go?; Follow the children
Where Do I Go?; Follow their smiles

Is there an answer
In their sweet faces
That tells me why I live and die?

Follow the wind song, follow the thunder
Follow the neon in young lovers' eyes
Down to the gutter, up to the glitter
Into the city, where the truth lies.

Where Do I Go?; Follow the children

Where Do I Go?; Follow their smiles

Is there an answer
In their sweet faces
That tells me why I live and die?

Follow the wind song, follow the thunder
Follow the neon in young lovers' eyes
Down to the gutter, up to the glitter
Into the city, where the truth lies.

Where Do I Go?; Follow my heartbeat
Where Do I Go?; Follow my hand

Where will they lead me?
And will I ever
Discover why I live and die?
............ I live and die?

Why do I live? Why do I die?
Tell me why... Tell me where do I go?
Tell me why... Tell me where...
Tell me why... Tell me where...
Tell me why!

Friday, October 01, 2004


I just found out that an officemate of mine is really good friends with Seymour Hersh!!! How dorky would I be if I asked this officemate to have Seymour Hersh autograph his new book for me?? (Of course I have to buy it first which isn't going to happen until payday.)

My opinion about the debate:

Kerry kicked Dubya's ass.

Dubya acted like a petulant child.

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Social Justice

I was on the phone with my Mom yesterday, yes the same conversation regarding me being a ball of yarn for Halloween, and we were talking about the election. And she told me a story that adds to the many reasons why I'm proud to be her daughter.

My Mom runs the RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) program at her church. (It's for adults who want to become Catholic or were baptized Catholic but never got Confirmed.) This past tuesday at their weekly meeting they were talking about Social Justice and being Catholic. Someone questioned, how could they vote for Kerry who says that he's a good Catholic yet is pro-choice.

Mom said that being pro-life doesn't just mean that you're against abortion but it means that you're for access to affordable healthcare, against the death penalty, for affordable housing, want a clean environment so you can breathe clean air & drink clean water, being able to provide food for your family, for peace, against war, promoting access to education, not cutting Head Start or Medicare or Medicaid. That being pro-life does not mean just one thing and that you cannot just base your vote on one issue because they're all intertwined. And if we narrow our scope of what Social Justice is we've lost sight of the big picture.

She told me that she was greeted with silence from the group. But she said that she could tell by the looks on people's faces that they were absorbing what she said.

I've mentioned before how Mom & I disgree on the whole abortion issue. But I am so proud of her for this.

Happy Friday to you all. Enjoy the first day of October.